Do you sometimes wish you were more confident? Don’t worry. You are not alone. Over 65% of people have experienced a lack of confidence at some point in their lives.
It is often believed that some individuals are born with confidence and as a result are naturally successful in most areas of their lives. However, people aren’t born with confidence at all. It is actually something that is developed over time – through constant repetition and practice of specific tasks and skills. It’s like learning how to drive. In the beginning it’s pretty scary, but over time, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more confident you get at it. It’s the same with everything else in life.
Successful people have tried and tested things so many times, that they have become confident. Even if they failed at something a couple of times, they try again because previous experience has taught them they just need to keep practicing.
By modelling confident people and adopting their behaviors, you can begin to increase your own confidence levels. So what other habits do confident people have that set them apart from everybody else?
1) They don’t compare themselves to other people
Confident people are self-assured – they have an appreciation of their own abilities and qualities. They recognize there are people out there who are more talented, attractive or more successful than them. Instead of feeling threatened or insecure by other people’s gifts and successes, they are more likely to celebrate them and will often feel inspired to learn or do more.
2) They don’t brag about their accomplishments
There is a different between arrogance and confidence. Arrogance is a sign of insecurity – insecurity stemming from a need for external validation. Validation they need from others because they cannot give it to themselves. Confident people don’t need external validation. They are their own personal cheerleader – recognizing their own skills and achievements internally, without the need to proclaim them to the world. They are the masters of the self high-five.
3) They show interest in other people
Confident people have nothing to prove. They don’t need to convince anyone they are funny, smart, likeable or good at giving advice. They also don’t seek to be center of attention. Confident people actually like taking an active interest in other people more – and listen more than they speak. They see social interaction as an opportunity to learn from other people and enjoy their company – and not an opportunity to get other people’s approval.
4) They respect other people’s opinions
Confident people respect other people’s opinions even when they don’t agree with them. This is where the difference between being assertive and being aggressive comes in. Confident people are assertive – they are able to stand up for themselves and what they believe – without trashing someone else in the process. Insecure people are often aggressive and try to knock the other person down or bully them into agreement. They have a fear that being wrong will make them look stupid or inferior and they will lose the admiration and respect of others. Confident people recognize they don’t know everything and are comfortable being wrong. What other people think doesn’t matter so much. It’s what they think of themselves that matters most.
5) They accept they are flawed
Confident people know they are not perfect and they are OK with that. They are not ashamed of their flaws and feel comfortable talking about them. They don’t take themselves seriously and will always seek to find the humor in their little “failings”.
6) They are comfortable saying no
Insecure people have more difficulty saying no than confident people. They’re worried that in saying no they will upset another other person, resulting in that person not liking them anymore. This can lead to people spreading themselves too thinly, resulting in high levels of stress and eventual burnout. Confident people are comfortable saying no because they know their boundaries and where they need to spend their time in order for them to be at their best. They value their time and recognize saying no is healthy.
7) They generate their own happiness
Confident people don’t rely on other people or other external factors to help them feel good. They have the ability to generate happiness from within. By simply recognizing their worth, achievements, skills, experience etc.– they are happy with who they are. And once you are happy with yourself, the world becomes a much happier place. For more tips on how to bring even more happiness into your life read my previous blog post here.
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